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Tag Archives: Fear

In 1992  I was in the Year 9 at school which was odd because I was in the second year at High school the year before. I think this suggests the Government had decided to  rework the year names of school for no reason. So this would be difficult year as I would have been about 12/13  entering puberty and high school can be a cruel place, full of ridicule and bullying and just those years of having to deal with numpties.  You may suggest that life never really changes, but to keep the cliché if I knew then what I know now  perhaps I would have cared less for people the deemed themselves the “Cool” kids.

Anyway that was the year & school year  I found out  I was short sighted in the space of a few weeks my eyes had decided to give up and stop showing me what was on the board so that was my new life only wearing glasses  for reading the blackboard or the tv. That was until 1994 this was  not Lower 6th  or  Year 12 where I stumbled on the concept that if I wore glasses whilst I drank alcohol  then I could see clearly and  I could drink more this was quite the revelation and allowed me to enjoy drinking more and my old drinking buddy Colin  didn’t have to point out things like Trees, Cars , Walls etc.

That was what life was like, only taking them of for sleep,  sparring and swimming.  Oh and personal hygiene.  Glasses I have owned have be lost in lakes in Canada, punched, smashed with a shinai,  sat on, nicked. But  they have been part of my life for years. But in 2013 I changed jobs and join RealityMine and a Mr Portman joined the company later on that year, he is a BJJ guy and wore glasses until he has them surgically altered, well, polished  so he could train better.  That got me thinking so in November I went for a test to see if my eyes could have it done.  Went through the tests and they said yes we can help you. After seeing the price I decided no at 6k per eye.  Over the coming weeks  I got missed calls and texts etc. from the company trying to convince me of the sale. so after getting them down to 3k for both eyes with a pay instalments £66/month for 4 years.  This  seemed reasonable. So I agreed and was booked in the for the 10th January.

The 10th January arrived and nerves kicked in and I was beginning to question whether it was a good idea. In the morning I spent it with Henry at a play group his maternal grandparents took him too. Which was fun and he enjoyed himself and was a good boy. After that my Father in Law dropped me off a the Trafford Centre.  I got some lunch at McDies. Then went to the opticians signed in and sat in the waiting area reading the paper work to sign and then re-reading it  going to get a drink then going to the loo. Then reading anything  I could to ensure I distracted myself.

After about an hour’s wait I got called for a pre-check which was about  five minutes of checking you prescription had not changed, you had no illness in the eyes or gunk (I love that word Gunk). All fine so I was sent  back to the waiting area. So I find my Blue book of Ritual and start learning the 1st degree. Next minute, “Peter Maguire?”  I look up and it is bloke, I assumed the Surgeon / Doctor  I can went into the room and well though the same checks as before, this room was like a typical opticians room apart from an extra set of doors.  Once the checks where done I was led through into the room where the lazy eye surgery would take place. The room had cupboards on the back wall two sets of double doors one on the side where I had just walked in through and one to the right from where I stood.  In the centre of the room was a machine that is you looked at it from the top it would have  looked like an odd shape W.

Before putting the protective gown I was asked again who was I, what my age , where did I live, what was it I was having done, did I know where lord Lucan was hiding, why did Smarties only have the answer. Once I had  given my responses  I was told to lay down on the bench/bed part of the machine, keep my eyes looking up at the ceiling and to keep my eyes open as wide as possible.

Next thing that happened was the surgeon dropping some anaesthetic into my eyes, which was fine then next bit …


They came towards my right eye with the an eyeball clamp.  I open my eyes as wide as I can.

“OPEN Them”

They are open

“OPEN Them”

They are open

“right here are two stress relief balls I want you to keep squashing them with your hands”

“Better that’s one done, now the left”

Open and pump hands , keep eye looking up don’t follow the hand argh!!!

So after that, “right the next machine will cut open the lens, so keep staring at the  ceiling ”

I am move to the left

Argh I not like this

“OK the other eye you are doing fine”

Argh I don’t want to be here can’t we just stop now

“Now for the fun part”

As I am shifted under the right past with eye patch place over my right eye, everything is out of focus with  both lens have been hinged open.

“Ok keep very still and focus on the orange flashing light for 25secs”

OMG I looking into a laser, there are warnings on these things not to look at them, yet I am. Why ,Why Why?

“That’s great, hold still”

WHOO! That thing he has got there is wallpaper scraper what is he going to do with that ??? And is that tube of super glue

As the Surgeon reseals me lens down, and my left eye is now able to focus.  An  eye patch is placed on the my left and I am back under the machine with my right eye.

“Ok keep very still and focus on the orange flashing light”

This time my left eye is moving going wait I can see WTF  I can see clearly and what is it doing to my right eye.  25 seconds is a long time when you are staring at a blinking orange light.

“Brilliant, ok just hold still  a bit longer”

Over comes the wall scrapper an the glue. The patch was removed from my left eye. The bench was moved away  from the machine.

“ALL done ”

I sit up  and look around my head feels weird ,  a nurse takes me out of the other set of doors there is a bit more light but the room is still dark. She then runs through the care,  wear this at night, Don’t rub your eyes, no reading or TV.  It may take a while for your  vision to show the effects.

“Erm! to be fair I can already see a marked improvement”

“Well if you  go and sit in reception for 5mins whilst we get you to adjust and we get your eye drops.  Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses.”

“My what now? No one ever mentioned I need them.”

“They would have told  you when you came in for the test?”

“I best go and buy some”

So after waiting five minutes in the reception area  trying to test my eyes sight with the posters on the wall and turning my phone on to see what the time was. I was given the ok to leave, so as I walked into the shop my eyes went OMG  it is so bright lets squint and cover ourselves in water!   I had a look at or attempted to look at the sunglasses in Optical Express but my lord they were expensive. So I stumble into Boots found a pair of sunglasses went to buy them and  got asked,” Are you on  drugs?”

“No,” I replied,” I have just had my eyes laser-ed and the light is hurting my eyes ”

Glasses bought, taxi home booked – well pick up from Mr  Wrigley.

So I sit by the car park awaiting the ride, with me glasses on and my eyes shut. They hurt so much just trying to open them, whether it was from the laser or the eye clamps.

Dave  arrives I get in,  again keeping my eyes closed. In fact most of my journey and siting in the house talking to Henry was with my eyes closed.

Helen arrived about 6pm to pick up Henry and I.  I was sat in the dark whilst everyone else was in the conservatory .  She looked into my eyes and didn’t seem to impressed,  we got home and henry went to bed, I assume we had tea but not sure what  at about 8pm I went to bed as I could not read or watch TV  and that made things difficult.

I put my sleeping goggles on and went to sleep.  That was almost 11 months  ago. What  can I see about the experience, well it certainly worked my eye sight is better than 20/20 and I don’t mean the alcoholic drink.

20/20 vision is a term used to express normal visual acuity (the clarity or sharpness of vision) measured at a distance of 20 feet. If you have 20/20 vision, you can see clearly at 20 feet what should normally be seen at that distance.

Although they have made more paranoid about my vision as  my eyes can become unfocused  at some ranges, this could be down to the muscles being lazier or I am just panicking for no reason.

But on the whole if you do want to  have you eyes treated then I would recommend  it.


Incidentally I am having my eyes checked at 6:30pm  next Monday.

Yesterday was next Monday, and off I went to get my eyes checked out. Not long after arriving I was checked by the machine that goes phft this is a black machine shaped liked a hot air balloon with a chin rest.  You rest your chin on the rest and look into a viewr and you can see a colourful hot air balloon in the distance it maybe in focus or not either way it will be out of focus for more time it is in focus. The nurse/assistant checks both eyes quickly then , then this evil helper sends three phfts of air into each eye to make you cry! WHY ?  Cos they are just cruel! This is the only  reason I can come up with.

Back to the reception for 1 min, then I called for the test after going through  the basic questions , then the letters on wall. Followed by near reading then quick the wall and back again.  I was given the all clear    for the next 2 years. They  told me I had 5/6 vision  which is better than 20/20 as this in feet.  What does it all mean I can see clearly a target that is 6ms away from me that a person  with 6/6 or 20/20 can see at 5ms.

6m = 19ft 87⁄32in

So after a sleepy evening yesterday and a snotty day today the brain has not really functioned so then for today’s creativeness.


I lie in bed asleep,

well it is dark and my eyes are shut

so asleep I lie.


Yet if i am asleep why do i think i am not?

Do i dream?

Dreaming of being asleep asking if i am awake?


My legs ache  and i have stomach ache

yet my eyes are shut

tightly they are shut


The vision changes  strange

girder structures are being form about my bed.

Again the questions  comes am i asleep?


Investigation is halted by a cough and a light

Eyes are awake..

My son is asleep but restless.


Looking away from the monitor

I get up to go to the Bathroom

the clock says quarter to 1


No that is not right i have been asleep longer

but no the night is long when the fever has set in!!

Last month, 14th – 15th of August to be more accurate, it was the Annual ShivWorks UK Seminar where Mr Southnarc comes over from the US to teach us about combatives. Or in layman’s term, beat the crap out of you and see if you get up for more and how not to get into trouble. Read More »